Learning Lessons

Wow! What a week of challenges and learning about myself.

Challenge: Something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle, contest, special effort, etc...

Many people have told me that exercise is 20% and eating right is the other 80% but this week I have found that not to be true. For me, it has been more 70/20/10 - 10% diet, 10% excercising and 80% mental.  I think this week my mind has been my biggest challenge. I have had to learn how to make that "special effort". For so long now I have just done whatever without thought or care of how it would effect me later(i.e.: lack of sleep, eating whatever I wanted, working ALL the time, not excercising, etc…) Making these life changes takes effort.

Last Sunday I spent time preparing my meals for the week and getting my workout bag ready to start my weight loss challenge. I went to bed at 9pm because I was going to get up early and go to the 6am class at the gym. I tossed and turned until finally falling asleep at 2:30am. Mom called me at 5:15 to wake up but man did I feel crappy. Although I had not gotten much sleep, I got up and got ready for the gym. I was determined I was going to do this. I got my things together and headed to the gym. I pulled up, so proud of myself for actually getting there, but soon realized I had forgotten my gym bag. This meant I didn't have my things to take a shower OR my clothes for work. I didn't know what to do because I knew I wouldn't have time to go back home after the class and get ready.. I decided to stay, work out and just leave a little early - even though a big part of me wanted to just go back home and sleep a little more. I worked all day and then went back to the gym after work to do my weights workout. First "call to battle" - WON! 

I have to not only prepare my meals for the week but also learn what kind of foods MY body needs and doesn't need and make the right choices when I am not in control of the meal. I was diagnosed with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) in 2002. I knew kind of the basics about this disease - causes infertility, facial hair, hair loss, increased the risk of diabetes and heart disease, weight gain and that somehow the pancreas did not do something properly and did something with the insulin causing me to store sugar and fat instead of burring it off. Also, that there was no cure only symptom management.  I have taken different drugs and birth control here and there to try to decrease the symptoms but never REALLY paid attention to it. I knew I needed to avoid sugars but only really thought about the obvious ones - cakes, cookies, candies, etc… I've known the foods people should and shouldn't eat but this is the first time I've learned what foods I should eat for MY body. Learning to not only eat fruits and vegetables but which fruits and vegetables are low in sugar and carbs and higher in protein. I had no idea. Now I am focusing on a low glycemic index, low carb, low saturated fat, low calorie, high protein diet. This past weekend was the first time in 4 weeks that I have not really been able to control my meals due to being at someone else's house and eating out. I had the challenge of making the best choices out of the choices given. My food prep became my daily food prep. I had to make a bigger sacrifice at some meals so I wouldn't have to at others. For the most part I feel I did pretty good. I know I could have only had 1/4th or half of that cupcake instead of 3/4ths but I can not let one choice make a difference on the rest. It takes being mentally educated about what foods I should and should not have for MY body and being mentally prepared for each meal and the rest of the meals that day.    "The wise prevail through great power, and those who have knowledge muster their strength" ~Proverbs 24:5

I've been pretty good about going to the gym and even wanting to go to the gym. The battle here has been once I'm there. I have felt for the most part that I have been pretty determined to do this but it's the going BEYOND that that has been the challenge.  I am working on getting past the "ugh, there's 15 seconds left" and get to the "wow, only15 seconds left". I'm going and doing the workouts but I struggle with pushing past the point of wanting to rest or stop. Mentally pushing myself beyond what I THINK I can do and learning what I can REALLY do. Each workout I get better and it gets a little easier. I can and WILL do this!!!!!     "He gives strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and now grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~Isaiah 40:29 

One thing I have also had to adjust is my sleeping. For years now I have lived off of very little sleep. I would stay up late, get a few hours sleep and then do it again the next day. I knew the lack of sleep made me tired but did not realize ALL the effects it was having on my body. The last few weeks I have had to learn to make better choices and use better time management. I have had to learn to "let things wait" until the next day and to even say no to some things. This is not an easy thing for me to do but I know that my mind and body need rest.  I can't tell if this has increased or decrease my stress level. I still have feelings of guilt and worry about getting things done or not for that matter. Although I need and can use the extra money I am having to let go of some of my extra design jobs right now. It's time to simplify my life and focus on bettering myself for a little while so I will be able to enjoy the life I have been given.

I am finally starting to see some changes, maybe not as much on the scale, but physically. I am able to wear pants I had to previously pour myself into and my scrubs are getting looser. I think the biggest change I noticed is playing with Jax. I was able to get up and down easier and not get winded or tired as fast. Don't get me wrong, that boy can still wear me out. I will weigh in tomorrow to see how the week went. As of Friday am I had lost a pound since Monday so we will see. 

Although tough, I am enjoying learning a little about myself and what God has made me TRULY capable of!  "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised" ~Hebrews 10:36  

Challenge Accepted

Last week had its ups and downs. I was frustrated because I felt like I was doing everything right but the scale didn't move. I know it's not all about the numbers but it definitely helps to see. On Thursday, I went in to talk to them about a new Weight loss challenge they were starting. While talking, Rebecca-the wellness director, said "lets check your BMI again". My first thought was "No Way. I was already let down by the scale." but I was delightfully surprised. I had gone from 44.9% body fat to 38.3% in two weeks. That was the little boost I needed.

Anyway, Rebecca and I talked about what it would take to do this challenge and what all the challenge was about. It wasn't the challenge that held me back but the fact I had to pay a decent amount of money to join it. I had known about it a few days before and had already been praying about it. After talking to her awhile and thinking about it, I decided to take on the challenge! She had told me that it was between the 5 gyms in the DFW area and that this particular gym had not ever won but they had made it their personal mission to be the winning gym. I told her that was good because I was making it MY personal mission to be the winning contestant. When they signed me up they told me I was going win. I laughed and said I know - even though I know they tell that to all who sign up. She said "True, but you are the first one who has told US you were going to win".

So, Challenge accepted. I can do it! It is 3 months long and the winner wins $1000. I have my meals planned out and ready for the week. I have my work out plan and schedule for the week. Sounds like I'm set, right?! There is only one thing. To be able to get it all in AND work 2 jobs, I am going to have to manage my time wisely and work out in the am before work. These two things probably sound like simple things to do but for me, NEITHER are simple.

This is where my faith in Christ comes in. I spent some time looking up verses to help me through this.  Now, I'm excited. I love how God's word even gives encouragement to work out, creates perseverance  and shows me how grow in strength. He kinda Rocks! Not only do I have amazing friends and family  to encourage me but my AMAZING Father in heaven has my back too and provides words of encouragement in tough times. He does not give us anything we can't handle!!!!

Let the challenge begin!

1 Week Down

I made it through my first week and am proud of how I did. It's amazing how many LITTLE changes one can make to just be healthier. I've started parking as far as I can from the entrance of a building and taking the stairs instead of the elevator (still struggling with talking myself into hiking the 3 flights up to get to work-I'm not a morning person. ) lol.

I weighed in on Wednesday and had lost 6lbs the first week. The numbers are not my focus but, man, does it look nice!

I've bought and cooked all my food for the week. To you that may not seem like a big deal, but for me it is a HUGE change. It's always been easier to grab something on the way to wherever I was going than it was to cook a meal at home. Not this week! I enjoyed actually planning and cooking my food. It was such a nice change to have fresh foods instead of the greasy, fatty fast foods I had become accustomed to. I can totally feel the difference.

The workouts still suck but are getting better. In just a week there are things I can do that I really struggled with the first few times. I know it will get easier each time and I can't wait. haha  I've stayed pretty motivated to go to the gym for the most part. There were times I spent the entire drive there thinking of all the excuses I could not to go and when I got to the gym said "Ok, now that you've come up with them all. Go inside and workout."

After my dad passed, I started doing freelance for Locker Room Athletics.  I would work all day and then come home and work. I created a bubble around myself. I didn't want to do anything, go anywhere or see anyone. All I did was work. I got about 4 hours of sleep a night and relied on fast food places for my meals. I didn't care what I ate or when I ate it. Man, you know all of that takes a toll on your body but you don't realize just how much until you are not doing it anymore.

I want to live and enjoy every moment God has given me. I can't fully do that if I am living the way I had been. I was tired all the time and couldn't move very well due to the excess weight. I was so unhappy with who I was.

I want my life back!!!!! And I'm going after it!!!

The journey begins

I have started this blog as a place I can share my ups and downs of my "Year 35 Goal" with my friends and family. I am so blessed with so many great people in my life. This weight loss journey will not always be easy and I will have highs and lows but I know with the prayer and support of you guys, those lows will only be small dips. I'm no writer so don't expect this to be the best read you've ever had. lol

On 3-19-13, I began my journey at 250lbs and 44.9% body fat by joining the gym at Ladies Of America fitness center. I had to purchase 2XL clothes to work out in. My final goal is by my 35th birthday in January of 2014, I will be at least 188 with only 25%body fat. That is a 62lb weight loss and a 20% decrease in body fat.

There are so many emotions right now. Im excited, excited about the future me. With this future will bring a happier more confident me, a healthier and more in shape me, a more dedicated and determined person, new friends that I have made along the journey and not to mention the fact that I will be HOT!

I'm also nervous and scared. I'm scared about not making it or giving up after the "high" is over. It's so much easier in the begining or when you are seeing immediate results but I know the "newness" will wear off and I won't always be able to see the results. I'm also nervous of the pain of the workouts. Haha. I know that too will pass.

I want to thank all of you for your encouragement, thoughts, prayers and support. You guys kinda ROCK!!!