Learning Lessons

Wow! What a week of challenges and learning about myself.

Challenge: Something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle, contest, special effort, etc...

Many people have told me that exercise is 20% and eating right is the other 80% but this week I have found that not to be true. For me, it has been more 70/20/10 - 10% diet, 10% excercising and 80% mental.  I think this week my mind has been my biggest challenge. I have had to learn how to make that "special effort". For so long now I have just done whatever without thought or care of how it would effect me later(i.e.: lack of sleep, eating whatever I wanted, working ALL the time, not excercising, etc…) Making these life changes takes effort.

Last Sunday I spent time preparing my meals for the week and getting my workout bag ready to start my weight loss challenge. I went to bed at 9pm because I was going to get up early and go to the 6am class at the gym. I tossed and turned until finally falling asleep at 2:30am. Mom called me at 5:15 to wake up but man did I feel crappy. Although I had not gotten much sleep, I got up and got ready for the gym. I was determined I was going to do this. I got my things together and headed to the gym. I pulled up, so proud of myself for actually getting there, but soon realized I had forgotten my gym bag. This meant I didn't have my things to take a shower OR my clothes for work. I didn't know what to do because I knew I wouldn't have time to go back home after the class and get ready.. I decided to stay, work out and just leave a little early - even though a big part of me wanted to just go back home and sleep a little more. I worked all day and then went back to the gym after work to do my weights workout. First "call to battle" - WON! 

I have to not only prepare my meals for the week but also learn what kind of foods MY body needs and doesn't need and make the right choices when I am not in control of the meal. I was diagnosed with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) in 2002. I knew kind of the basics about this disease - causes infertility, facial hair, hair loss, increased the risk of diabetes and heart disease, weight gain and that somehow the pancreas did not do something properly and did something with the insulin causing me to store sugar and fat instead of burring it off. Also, that there was no cure only symptom management.  I have taken different drugs and birth control here and there to try to decrease the symptoms but never REALLY paid attention to it. I knew I needed to avoid sugars but only really thought about the obvious ones - cakes, cookies, candies, etc… I've known the foods people should and shouldn't eat but this is the first time I've learned what foods I should eat for MY body. Learning to not only eat fruits and vegetables but which fruits and vegetables are low in sugar and carbs and higher in protein. I had no idea. Now I am focusing on a low glycemic index, low carb, low saturated fat, low calorie, high protein diet. This past weekend was the first time in 4 weeks that I have not really been able to control my meals due to being at someone else's house and eating out. I had the challenge of making the best choices out of the choices given. My food prep became my daily food prep. I had to make a bigger sacrifice at some meals so I wouldn't have to at others. For the most part I feel I did pretty good. I know I could have only had 1/4th or half of that cupcake instead of 3/4ths but I can not let one choice make a difference on the rest. It takes being mentally educated about what foods I should and should not have for MY body and being mentally prepared for each meal and the rest of the meals that day.    "The wise prevail through great power, and those who have knowledge muster their strength" ~Proverbs 24:5

I've been pretty good about going to the gym and even wanting to go to the gym. The battle here has been once I'm there. I have felt for the most part that I have been pretty determined to do this but it's the going BEYOND that that has been the challenge.  I am working on getting past the "ugh, there's 15 seconds left" and get to the "wow, only15 seconds left". I'm going and doing the workouts but I struggle with pushing past the point of wanting to rest or stop. Mentally pushing myself beyond what I THINK I can do and learning what I can REALLY do. Each workout I get better and it gets a little easier. I can and WILL do this!!!!!     "He gives strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and now grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~Isaiah 40:29 

One thing I have also had to adjust is my sleeping. For years now I have lived off of very little sleep. I would stay up late, get a few hours sleep and then do it again the next day. I knew the lack of sleep made me tired but did not realize ALL the effects it was having on my body. The last few weeks I have had to learn to make better choices and use better time management. I have had to learn to "let things wait" until the next day and to even say no to some things. This is not an easy thing for me to do but I know that my mind and body need rest.  I can't tell if this has increased or decrease my stress level. I still have feelings of guilt and worry about getting things done or not for that matter. Although I need and can use the extra money I am having to let go of some of my extra design jobs right now. It's time to simplify my life and focus on bettering myself for a little while so I will be able to enjoy the life I have been given.

I am finally starting to see some changes, maybe not as much on the scale, but physically. I am able to wear pants I had to previously pour myself into and my scrubs are getting looser. I think the biggest change I noticed is playing with Jax. I was able to get up and down easier and not get winded or tired as fast. Don't get me wrong, that boy can still wear me out. I will weigh in tomorrow to see how the week went. As of Friday am I had lost a pound since Monday so we will see. 

Although tough, I am enjoying learning a little about myself and what God has made me TRULY capable of!  "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised" ~Hebrews 10:36